Today is the first day I consistently felt like me. No exhaustions or fatigues. No urge to cry. I could walk around without pain. Wow! I'll be back at work before you know it, drinking too much and all the other things which are highly inconducive to a healthy life.
A friend who couchsurfed with me before the holidays is staying with me. Sounds crazy but Charlotte knows the story and is sympathetic, kind and encouraging. So all is well here. She also owns a project about adoption documenting her own journey of tracing her birth/biological family in Brazil. Now, when she stayed with me before, I told her that I was adopted too. We shared a lot of thoughts and discussions about this. In fact, she has changed my thinking and how I perceive my life. She asked yesterday if I could record a testimony and of course I was happy to do so. And a photo session too.
I began to feel like a lady of leisure. I casually checked my emails. I ate a leisurely breakfast. I found out Anna was ill yesterday so phoned her and had a long chat. I could get used to this, you know.
Charlotte asked if we could do the work for her project today and I was happy to do so. First, she wanted a place so I chose the Momuento de Madre near my flat and for the significance about motherhood and parenting and how my view is different. These days, it's shifting and become even more flexible. She requested words and so I scribbled 'potentially like me'. A nice double meaning there. The photo shoot was fun though there were a couple of stoners smoking weed which impeded some of the shoots..but nevermind.
We went for lunch in a vegetarian/vegan resturant called El Corazon de Arbol via one of the sex shops. I'd been to an event there and was quite keen to try the food. It's always a great thing to have choices too. What a lovely place it was...a roof, a menu where I was spoilt for choice, good company and friendly staff. We ordered and then Charlotte started the interview. I enjoyed it. My story is really quite normal. No tragedy or trauma. Just a regular family who for the most part showed me love and kindness. Maybe it's boring and mudane. But also, perhaps such a story could support too. Oh yes, the food was great. I opted for 'plato de mes' on the grounds that it might not be available again and as for the other options, I'm happy to return.
I needed to rush off and meet my visitors. I actually did break into a little run. Penelope came to see me with her baby. Now for one who has no longer the ability to have a child, I'm spending a disproportinate amout of time with women with babies. Last year, there was a pregnancy trend at work and now they are all born, alive and well. Funnily enough, I was an outside bet for bearing a child. Little did we know how outside that would be..
Penelope came bearing gifts from The UK or Heathrow Airport (she'd just returned from Australia where she's from). I rebuked her offer of chocolates and instead asked for Bizarre, FHM and some Original Source shower gel. The only products I desire from the UK. Engeli showed up too. Martin (Penelope's baby) obviously got the vibe this was not a child friendly flat and started bawling. I suggested a walk around the block to calm him down.
Overall, I did really well. I still have energy at 00:25. I'm slightly insomniac anyway, but I had a great day. My only fear now is that I feel like an imposter or a skiver. Like, if I'm well enough to go for lunch and hang out with friends surely I could handle a day at work. Or am I too afraid to return to work? My concern is that have I simply become lazy and actually enjoy having nothing to do. Anyway, it will all be a shock to the system and one which I'll have to face sooner rather than later.
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