Sunday 7 October 2012

Closure, Endings and FIN

Every good story needs an end and every shite situation needs closure. We all need to say 'FIN' at some point and now is my time.

So much has happened since I last wrote anything. Why did I stop writing? Basically, I went through a sticky patch at work and that affected my life. My contract at British Council finished and no renewal. In retrospect, this was the best thing that could've happened but that period of uncertainty really didn't help recovery. Now, I've moved into teacher training. It can be slow and unreliable but I'm happier. And more to the point, still in Mexico City and with friends and not making a new start when physically and mentally I wasn't ready.

Why did I want to complete the blog? I got the impetus in August and if you don't mind, I'll give you all a little background information. In March, I travelled alone to Tepotzlan. This is some little hippy town two hours from Mexico City. I planned to Couchsurf and then got stood up. No big deal. I decided to enjoy my romantic weekend with me. Now Tepoztlan has some ruined pyramid. I decided to climb it and after one third of the way up, got pains and realised that such a decision was stupid after having an organ removed 6 weeks before. In August, work took me to Cuernavaca and I decided to take a trip to Tepoztlan. I saw that pyramid and this time, I knew I needed to summit it. I did it. No one there was aware of the significance of such a climb and not even a huge one. To this day, no one really knows why this was important. I climbed down and drank a huge michelada. That was my closure.

What has my recovery taught me? Lets in true Fishwick style, write a list:

1. I'm a survivor and if I can get through a hysterectomy and recovery, then I can cope with many things and many more than what I thought.

2. I never once lost my sense of humour

3. It's important to keep on reminding people that I'm not there yet and this recovery can never be rushed. Some still don't get it.

4. It's fine to trust instincts and stay where is best. Some assumed that I'd be leaving Mexico like I'm some backpacker. My support network if anything is here. Nine months after a hysterectomy, I was still quite precarious healthwise and a move would probably cause a setback. And with people I don't trust. It takes time for me to open up and then that would lead to another unnecessary mess.

5. I've had up and very down days. I'm not sure if that's me or the operation.

6. Learn to be open. It's the strongest thing a person can do. I'm still learning.

7. Periods suck. I hated mine. I'm very relaxed with not having them. I used to dread that time of the month and how much pain I was in. There's no way I could do my job now. Or have my life

8. I've become even more pro child free life.

9. Not everyone gains weight :-)

10. Never give up. Even on the worst days. I have my life back. I do what I want. I haven't suffered for a while. I can safely say I'm 100% better. It took time. It was a process but really, I'm back to what I am and better.

Time for me to close the blog and continue with my new lease of life. I hope this blog if anything, will help a woman like me. Even just one and that means that what I went through and what I wrote has achieved it's purpose.