The worry list

Organisation is not my strong point and worrying is something I do as a matter of a course. Why not marry the two and make a list?

Without my 'to-do' list at work, I'm lost. With no to-do list to write and also nothing to do, I have time to worry and think far too many 'what ifs' which I always find time to do during busier times.

After a sleepless night and uncontrollable tears, (part of the post hysterectomy course) Andrew emerged and saw me looking quite distressed. 'All right, our Lil?'. No, of course I wasn't. This is where he suggested the 'Worry List'. It's simple.

1. Write down the worry
2. Share it with a friend
3. Think of how to manage it

Why didn't I think of this before? Probably, because the sharing bit freaks me out.

Worry List - 24th of January


1. Being a burden to others. An imposition and a pain. I suspect one friend has fucked off quite quickly. Who's next?
2. BUPA - something's not clear about the payments...did they? do I? who does? how do we find out?
3. IMSS - they need something and I don't know how to get it and who can get it
4. Anxiety and Insomnia - is it slowing down or hampering my recovery
5. Don't like this being ill lark

Andrew and I went for a walk and a successful one this time for a coffee. Time to share and talk though the list. Oh shite..

Actually, this helped a lot. Anna was straight on the case with the IMSS thing. No one's pissed off with me and in fact Andrew commented that my recovery has brought people together. Lets hope that at least something good has come out of it all (apart from my new and improved health and no periods)

Filled with new energy, I tackled the BUPA thing. I got some vague answers with impressive customer service so all seems OK. Then, I discussed things with my manager. Big mistake.

Understandably, she's under pressure. But also, I've had major surgery and as much as I hate milking things, there are ways of talking to people.

She was harsh..and made me cry. All that hard work unravelled and I was back to where I started. She accused me of being demanding, and making demands on others. Exactly what was at the crux of my worry list. Wow..she really does have the knack of detecting someone's low point.

I'm emotional at the best of times.. Post op..it's gone mad. Like, last night we're about to have dinner and then we all clink glasses to 'Liz's health', I start sobbing.

 Anyway, by the end of the afternoon, all is resolved. IMSS and BUPA were the big ones. In fact the hospital sorted out. No apology from manager but an acknowledgement that my priority is to recover.

It wasn't a day of downfalls but a few achievements too. I had my first real poos on that day. Hurrah!