Now, I'm faced with a lot of time on my hands and the issue is how to manage it. Anna's place provided the thinking time for me and here's what I plan to do to fill the days.
Joining support groups
I've been doing some googling about hysterectomies. Sometimes, it's good to know more and found several sources. The main one is an online support group called Hyster Sisters with all that a women needs to know about a hysterectomy and was afraid to ask. It's quite comprehensive in terms of information but for me, it's well..pretty twee. We are called sisters and princesses. It's full of irritating acronyms like DH (dear husband) and BM (bowel movements). I have a real issue with acronyms and find them exclusive and with a fug like brain, it took some time to figure it out. And what's wrong with saying 'shit' and what about those who don't have a DH? I guess I write my DF/DGF/DFWB?
Oh yes...there is a lot of reference to god on there which is quite disturbing for a hardcore atheist. And a section called 'God Bless America' for the army wives and the boys fighting for the USA out in Afghanistan and Iraq. Though, I guess they are people too.
I'm not a huge support group person at the best of times. I joined anyhow and lets see what people make of my posts (if I can be bothered). I may be too sick to be belligerent.
Blogging
Another thing I did to avoid (pointless) hours on facebook stalking people and being all voyeuristic about my healthier friends was google blogs. Similar issue..all presented a rosy and happy view of what is a pretty dark operation. You know, a nice loving husband who has learnt how to clean because wifey is all laid up. I pay for someone to do all the cleaning.
There were no women like me. Nothing I could relate to or feel that I wasn't alone in this recovery period. My concerns are somewhat different like communicating with about a very new experience in another language, fashion, no booze and talking about the most amazing support group from friends who want to help. I spotted a niche and thought yes..there must be women like me out there. And so it all began -the blog. Usually, I'm not a fan of blogs. Most are self indulgent twaddle. But, it makes me feel better and maybe, it could support at least one woman and then I'm happy.
I publicised it on facebook but was far too shy to post the link publicly. Then on the couchsurfing 'Independent Women' group and already it seems that:
1. A Finnish friend told me her aunt also had a hysterectomy 10 years ago in Sweden. Like me, she was single and her GBFF was her main support. She faced opposition from the medical profession over the kids issue. No one would risk performing a hysterectomy on a woman without children even though she was childfree by choice. She got what she wanted at the end. Lots of parallels here but the sad thing is that my friend's aunt can't read English. I hope we can find a way to share.
2. Lots of comments about my bravery and strength. Not sure if I am particularly, but it's good to hear.
3. A 36 year old woman may need the same operation so I hope it helps her and also I've heard that another woman too had a hysterectomy also may find it of some support.
4. I am really quite addicted to googling so looked up feminist hysterectomy blogs. Needed a change from these all American housewives and was wondering if I could find something more fitting here. I found this link from a feminist all about her surgery blogging my hysterectomy. Now what was interesting was how much criticism this procedure receives from the feminist communities. It's all about removing the essence of womanhood. I actually don't support this view despite my strong feminist convictions. This woman agrees. If it's hurting and not working, get it out. However, that will the topic for another post.
Reading books
Got lots and lots of reading materials. Shame about the concentration span which puts a goldfish to shame right now
Social networking
Actually, I've got it under control. I really thought I'd be wasting hours and hours on facebook but no. Though I have time to answer emails and messages. People are obviously concerned about some vague status update and a profile picture of me in my hospital gown. A hysterectomy is not the sort of thing I really want to announce as a status update.
Sleeping
Am now a fan of a nap...this recovery period is pretty exhausting and more to the point..I can.
Visitors
I really like it when people come and visit and thankfully, it's a select few. No awkward conversations and no worries if I start to flake out during conversations. Not to mention the lovely food too. I never realised I had so many real friends.
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