The Guilt Trip

God (how appropriate)...how I hate being brought up Catholic. I'm an atheist now, have no issues surrounding sex and most sins but the guilt. It's like syphillus and will never go away. After feeling guilty about being lazy and not doiung anything, I decided to cure some of the defeciencies I've got, so off I went to Plaza Rio Janiero to read my book. Durimg that short time, on top of the previous guilt trips, I had three more..

1. A man said 'hello' to me. I glared at him like he was a rapist then realised he could be a friend of a good friend. Oh well..one can always blame the op. Memory loss and the (lack of) ability to run away from men.

2. Two market researchers approached me about some survey. I was happy reading and my Spanish sucks. Then thought that this job is all about facing rejection and something I'd never do as I'm scared of rejection and it would've been great Spanish practice.

I'm not sure if feeling guilty is a side effect of a hysterectomy, being me, or being a Catholic but I sure have a whole lot more time to think and feel like shit about my own existence.

I've been thinking about my appearance a bit and yes feeling bad that how can I think of such superficial things. My hair's a mullet. Now body hair...yeuch! I am so happy that my libido is pretty lacklustre because I wouldn't sleep with me if I saw me in a bar. I can almost plait my hairs on my legs and lets not go down the pubic area (and no...no one would go down there unless they had a hairy lady fetish). I want to post on hystersisters about would it be advisable to get a wax done as I resemble a Victorian porn model but admist all these stories of pain and some pretty serious shit, then such things ring shallow. Or do they? The most popular post so far was all about drinking booze.

I do love the perception of my facebook update..'Liz needs to buy some acid'. Like as if. Post op or not, I haven't touched it in years and it's Tuesday afternoon. I needed to clarify 'folic acid'. I need to get my kicks from somewhere, right?