Losing it...

I really wanted to go. There are too many meltdowns to mention here and tantrums and so on..but I was flying off the handle, getting irritable and generally being the patient from hell. I'm surprised I wasn't kicked out. 

During one of my major rages, another friend came to visit. She's a very chilled anyway and more to the point, I was ashamed of my behaviour. I didn't want to be seen like this at all.

I'd also just had a blood transfusion. I hope that they chose the right blood but I'm not dead yet. It was really unpleasant and took forever and forever. It was slow and cold. 

Kelly brought round goodies to boost my protein levels. Lots of quinoa which would really really help and my god I haven't eaten it in years and years. My god, it was great and I could feel my protein levels boosting as I ate. This was shortly followed by the support team with a suggestion which I was in two minds about. They have sourced daycare for me.

Arguments for

1. My own physical limitations - the latest incident has proved that I can't do a lot right now

2. My friends have work and lives

3. What happens if something happens again?

Arguments against

1. Do I really want someone there the whole day? I'm a very private person

2. Privacy, privacy, privacy

3. Language - can I make myself always understood in Spanish?

They agreed on 12 hours a day. Of course I had objections but they were adamant so I agreed too.

The food got better as Anna and Zoe cooked and gave it to the hospital. Now in a private hospital, should this be the case? I'll leave that for a another discussion but my god, it looked good. 

The day improved too...more friends came. This time, my three favourite Mexican sisters and my New Zealand Queen followed by two more friends and then more...that bleak room got a cheery party atmosphere and probably did me a whole lot more good than medication and blood transfusions.

One more day...but at least I can face it now.